It’s Rather Crucial I Express Some Gratitude

Our house still stands, but much of Trinity County continues to burn in the Monument Fire and River Complex. Lots of folks are evacuated and have lost their homes. We count our blessings and are grateful to have been spared thus far. I’m still on edge, but am trying to make the most of the time given, to enjoy every day where the air quality allows for outdoor recreation. I’m reading, writing, going about my work, and generally replicating normality as much as possible. It gets me through the day.

Two weekends ago (August 27-30), Jack and I attended my sister’s wedding to her now-husband and our brother-in-law. Kate and Alex. At long last. I happy-cried throughout the entire ceremony. Kate had wanted to surprise our parents with our unannounced, unexpected attendance, and after a year-and-a-half of no face-to-face interaction with my family, I burst into tears the moment I saw my mother and father round the corner to the newly refurbished, beautifully decorated, and adorned patio on the backyard.

After a long, slow burn and a heated spat during the height of (the most recent) political tensions in this country (roughly 11/04/2020-01/27/2021), I hadn’t talked to my parents as much as I used to before everything changed. I apologized for what I’d said to both of them. They apologized for things they had misunderstood or misinterpreted. We made the kind of patchy peace one can only make over the phone and without a true, teary apology and warm, generous hug.

To hold them and thank them, kiss their cheeks and say, “I’m sorry for what I said when I was angry. You are a wonderful mother and a wonderful father. I’m so happy to see you and love you both forever. Thank you for everything.” was just the soul-nourishment I needed. They are such exemplary parents, dedicated teammates who put in their full, best effort every single day, year after year, into the success of their daughters and the betterment of their futures. Not to mention, they helped a lot of other people through the nature of their multi-decade careers (a surgeon and medical social worker). Both of my parents worked rigorously to help those in crises and those in medical jeopardy. Although I didn’t take after their line of work, I admire them endlessly.

It was pure magic to see my sister in white, a gold forest crown on her head, at long last marrying her boyfriend of 5 years, fiancé of 2, and now husband. It was thrilling to see them wearing their wedding bands, beaming at each other in their renovated new home. Their ranch-style house looks entirely their own, stylish and modern, with very subtle nods to former decorative accents. They’ve been pouring in their time and labor to repaint the walls and replace the floors. It already looks like a brand new home from what I saw in early January 2020. There were white tulle curtains as a backdrop for the ceremony, blowing gently in the breeze wafting through the backyard. Ivy covered the columns. Bouquets were scattered about the patio, paper flowers up on the far wall, party lights strung along the perimeter. It was enchanting. After living in arid California this summer, I relished the humidity and coolness of Massachusetts. Everything about the visit was exactly what I needed.

Jack and I zipped down to Cape Cod with my parents after the ceremony and reception. We realized we were there on a Saturday night and rallied for a few hours of dancing and fancy cocktails on Main Street in historic downtown Hyannis. We slept for a few hours, and then drove to western Massachusetts to help determine which of my accumulated items needed to be donated, thrown away, or packed up and shipped out. (My parents just sold their house in Pittsfield). With help from my dad, my aunt, and Jack the Most Amazing Husband of All Time, we organized my entire lifetime, from childhood to the present day, into distinct piles each bound for a different fate. That same day, we returned to my sister’s house, slept, and flew out that Monday. Phew!

But wait, there’s more!

This past weekend (September 3-7) I went on the most amazing visit to the Adirondacks with my friends from Boston University and beyond for a joint bachelorette party! Priyanka, Kelsee, and Hash planned a full, weekend-long bash for me and Riya to celebrate our upcoming weddings! Also in attendance were my college friend, Mary, and Riya’s friend from six years ago, Drashti.

We traveled from Boston to Wilmington, NY (just east of Lake Placid) in a giant, black, GMC Yukon XL where six of us (Mary met us at the AirBnB) could stretch out luxuriously and enjoy the road trip. Upon our arrival, Pri, Hash, and Kelsee sent me, Riya, Mary, and Drashti out to picnic by the lake. We did so gladly, enjoying the mirror reflections of mountains towering above the smooth water, and when we returned, there were balloons, sparkles, shimmering curtains, and bright ribbon curls everywhere! It was the perfect party background in a cozy, quintessential upstate New York cabin. We ate fresh, homemade veggie tacos, played trivia- and card-based drinking games, and ended the first day with hot-tubbing.

The next morning began with a brunch of French toast, scrambled eggs, and berry salad. All but Pri went out for a two-hour nature walk through the forest and along the river. An impressive charcuterie board occupied our early afternoon, followed by champagne decorated with edible pink glitter (yes that is a real thing). Then we relaxed with face masks on and cucumbers over our eyes, painted our nails, prepared our hair and makeup, and hit the town of Lake Placid in our cutest outfits. We had dinner at a delicious Italian restaurant and took fruity, pink celebratory shots with our waiter. When we returned to our cabin, we had a campfire and admired the stars before bed.

We made a cute video wherein Riya and I wore our white, Bride t-shirts and our friends wore their respective burgundy, Team Bride t-shirts. We were well-fed, pampered, celebrated, and elevated to a level of pure bliss and appreciation. I am so thankful to have such thoughtful, kind, cooperative, visionary, dream-achieving friends. They went to extraordinary lengths to make this an unforgettable, fun, life-changing, friendship-building, celebratory rite of passage weekend. We even increased the size of our girl squad with two new, lifelong members! I will forever cherish the jokes, the laughs, the shared views, the deep conversations, and the opening of hearts from that weekend.

To know that I have such spectacular people in my life, my blood family and my chosen family, to know that the Universe deemed me worthy to have made these friends, is the best feeling in the world. I wish I could describe it better, having the gall to call myself a writer. It’s a deep catharsis, a massive sweeping feeling that you can feel throughout your body that indicates to your subconscious, “Everything will be okay; you have people who have your back and want you to make it through.” It’s a calming tonic, like floating in water, reassured that wherever the current takes you, there will be familiar faces and friendly companions along the way.

Weddings and pre-wedding celebrations are some of my favorite rites of passage in our western society. I love worshipping love, celebrating every instance of two humans committing to each other for all of their Earthly days. It opens up a well of happiness that, as most of my emotions are, is attached to my tear ducts. After a confusing, tumultuous, challenging 18 months or so, it was a miraculous gift to return somewhat to the “before times” to see friends and family, to hold hands and wrap our arms around each other. I love all forms of love, romantic, platonic, and familial. To have enjoyed the abundance of all forms was the best reminder that there are always better, brighter days to look forward to. Love, to me, has always been the entire point of life: to uphold it and cherish it, to nurture and grow it. Love, love, love. To the end of days.